Ahhh! We're moving! It seems to have come on suddenly, but it has been in the back of our minds for quite some time. There are a ton of things I will miss and a ton of things I am not going to miss. For example, the weather here is quite miserable at times and very few days are nice. Also, not to mention the children.... oh, the kids. I miss them like any mom would long to see her kids again after been taken so suddenly and without warning. I think about them daily, and multiple times a day. I am looking forward to this move both physically and emotionally. We need to move on with our lives and start over. I will never forget them, but I do want to forget how much it hurts. Like a fresh wound that will not heal, I need God to come in and heal me.
I will also miss our church. I love them like my family... well, not all of my family, but the family that I wish I had. Family that you see in happy movies, that's my church. I am leaving them. I believe I will miss them much more than they will miss me. They have been there for Matt and I thru it all! Marriage, college, careers, kids, and the loss of the kids. Matt and I are hoping to find a new church, but we are afraid no where will come close. There is no others like our church.
I am also worried about moving. I am worried about employment... or lack there of. I have one job now that will not pay the bills, but it is something. I also have an interview for something that combind, may help tremendiously with the bills, but not everything. Matt has a possible interview, but no one is calling him about any of the jobs he really wants. NO ONE! This is so frustrating! What does he have to do to prove he is a good investment?! Sorry, rant over...
Thanks for letting me just type away letting go of my frustrations and putting them on here. By typing this, I feel freedom. I realize I need to just let go of everything and trust God. He's really the one in charge, so, like a puppy sheepishly handing over the torn and chewed shoe to his owner, I must hand over my worries and doubts because they don't belong to me anyway. I encourage you to do the same.
God Bless you!
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Prayerful
Heavenly Father,
You called me to be Your own possession. Grant that my life may evidence the working of Your Holy Spirit in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, according to the image of your only-begotten Son. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer.
Because of Your tender love toward us sinners You have given me Your Son that, believing in Him, I might have everlasting life. Continue to grant me Your Holy Spirit that I may remain steadfast in this faith to the end and finally come to life everlasting. Lord, in your mercy, hear my prayer.
I pray for marriage and family, that husbands and wives, parents and children live in ordered harmony according to the Word of God; for parents who must raise children alone; for our communities and neighbors. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer
Be a source of strength and hope for Nevaeh, Makiya, and Nikolai. When they stray, protect them from all danger and grant Your abiding presence. Guide them by Your Word into paths of wisdom and righteousness, and send Your holy angels to watch over them, that the evil one may have no power over them. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer
Lord God, Your gracious presence attends Your people wherever they go. Be with Matt and I as our lives are in transitions we move from a familiar home to a new community in Nebraska. Support us in times of challenge or loneliness, and surround us with caring Christian people so that we may find welcome and peace in our new location and joy in Your ongoing kindness and love. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer.
I give You thanks for the day, especially for the good I was permitted to give and recieve. The day is now past, and I commit it to You. I entrust to You the night and rest in Your peace, for You are my help, and You neither slumber nor sleep. Lighten my darkness, O Lord, and by Your great mercy defend me from all perils and dangers of this night; for the love of Your only Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen
You called me to be Your own possession. Grant that my life may evidence the working of Your Holy Spirit in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, according to the image of your only-begotten Son. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer.
Because of Your tender love toward us sinners You have given me Your Son that, believing in Him, I might have everlasting life. Continue to grant me Your Holy Spirit that I may remain steadfast in this faith to the end and finally come to life everlasting. Lord, in your mercy, hear my prayer.
I pray for marriage and family, that husbands and wives, parents and children live in ordered harmony according to the Word of God; for parents who must raise children alone; for our communities and neighbors. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer
Be a source of strength and hope for Nevaeh, Makiya, and Nikolai. When they stray, protect them from all danger and grant Your abiding presence. Guide them by Your Word into paths of wisdom and righteousness, and send Your holy angels to watch over them, that the evil one may have no power over them. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer
Lord God, Your gracious presence attends Your people wherever they go. Be with Matt and I as our lives are in transitions we move from a familiar home to a new community in Nebraska. Support us in times of challenge or loneliness, and surround us with caring Christian people so that we may find welcome and peace in our new location and joy in Your ongoing kindness and love. Lord, in Your mercy, hear my prayer.
I give You thanks for the day, especially for the good I was permitted to give and recieve. The day is now past, and I commit it to You. I entrust to You the night and rest in Your peace, for You are my help, and You neither slumber nor sleep. Lighten my darkness, O Lord, and by Your great mercy defend me from all perils and dangers of this night; for the love of Your only Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Amen
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Morning
Oh God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you;
I cannot do this alone.
In me there is darkness, but with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in hears, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace;
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways, but you know the way for me.
Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before men.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
Amen.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you;
I cannot do this alone.
In me there is darkness, but with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in hears, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace;
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways, but you know the way for me.
Restore me to liberty,
And enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before men.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
Amen.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
sonata
Welcome back to my blog friends. It has been a while since an invite. Here, let me blow the dust off these keys before I get into it.
I have recently discovered a new part of myself that it is a bit frightening. My childhood and present haven't really changed in one aspect. That being my mother. No, I don't really want to get into the story, but I have taken enough abuse and I am done. I am done crying over her, I'm done fighting with her and loosing the battles, and I am done praying for her. This was not an easy place to get to, but I am here, and I am not leaving for a while. Some of you are surprised of this news, others are not at all surprised; merely wondering why it took so long. nonetheless, I am here now, and that I can be proud of. I know where my faith is in Christ. I know where I want it to be. The path leading me there is shorter that I think, but there is struggle regardless.
Thank you all for believing in me, loving me, and praying for me. Without that support, I would still be at the place I just came from. Now I can start over (hince the title... for you non-musicians out there a sonata is the first movement of a "classical" symphony) and finally be at peace.
I have recently discovered a new part of myself that it is a bit frightening. My childhood and present haven't really changed in one aspect. That being my mother. No, I don't really want to get into the story, but I have taken enough abuse and I am done. I am done crying over her, I'm done fighting with her and loosing the battles, and I am done praying for her. This was not an easy place to get to, but I am here, and I am not leaving for a while. Some of you are surprised of this news, others are not at all surprised; merely wondering why it took so long. nonetheless, I am here now, and that I can be proud of. I know where my faith is in Christ. I know where I want it to be. The path leading me there is shorter that I think, but there is struggle regardless.
Thank you all for believing in me, loving me, and praying for me. Without that support, I would still be at the place I just came from. Now I can start over (hince the title... for you non-musicians out there a sonata is the first movement of a "classical" symphony) and finally be at peace.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Merrily
Merry-early Christmas everyone!
So, I am totally in the holiday spirit... but my uterus is definitely NOT!
So the baby thing was a no go again this month. I went online yesterday and totally obsessed over ANYTHING that would get me pregnant sooner. If there was something out there that could get me pregnant NOW, I would have bought it. I did however buy some vitamins that are well known to help. As I was filling my huge pill box I was reminded of how desperate Matt and I have gotten. I am now taking my thyroid pill, 2 Asai extract vitamins, 2 Vitamin D's, a B6 vitamin, and I ginormous prenatal vitamin EVERY DAY. As soon as the next cycle starts I will add 3 soy vitamins a day on top of that. And, Oh yea, don't forget there are more on the way from the internet. There should be a True Life about me... "True Life: I am obsessed with getting pregnant" The truth is Matt and I really want to be able to conceive on our own... it's like we are too proud to go to the Dr. for all this. Plus, it's really expensive and insurance only covers "diagnosis only". I will however break down and call my Dr. in January. Something has to be done... we have been at this baby thing for almost a year and a half!
Thanks for putting up with all this.
Kat
So, I am totally in the holiday spirit... but my uterus is definitely NOT!
So the baby thing was a no go again this month. I went online yesterday and totally obsessed over ANYTHING that would get me pregnant sooner. If there was something out there that could get me pregnant NOW, I would have bought it. I did however buy some vitamins that are well known to help. As I was filling my huge pill box I was reminded of how desperate Matt and I have gotten. I am now taking my thyroid pill, 2 Asai extract vitamins, 2 Vitamin D's, a B6 vitamin, and I ginormous prenatal vitamin EVERY DAY. As soon as the next cycle starts I will add 3 soy vitamins a day on top of that. And, Oh yea, don't forget there are more on the way from the internet. There should be a True Life about me... "True Life: I am obsessed with getting pregnant" The truth is Matt and I really want to be able to conceive on our own... it's like we are too proud to go to the Dr. for all this. Plus, it's really expensive and insurance only covers "diagnosis only". I will however break down and call my Dr. in January. Something has to be done... we have been at this baby thing for almost a year and a half!
Thanks for putting up with all this.
Kat
Monday, November 30, 2009
Viva
Yea! I am so happy today! Wow, that rhymed, sorry.
Well, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! I know I have a ton of things to be thankful for. Some of which include, my family, my friends, and especially my faith. Well, I am also very thankful that I went shopping with Matt on Black Friday. Waking up at 4 am alone would be totally boring anyway =) Getting to, shopping at, and waiting in line at, Wal-Mart, Herbergers (like Macy's), Target, and Fleet Farm all by 7:15 am.... Just let me say "WWWOOOOOWWWW!!!!" Anyhow, we got everything we wanted to get! Matt got two very warm new winter coats and I got my beloved TomTom and a few other things... hee hee.
There was one thing I could have left in Alexandria, MN... the stomach flu. =( All of Saturday night through Sunday, I was sick as a dog... I am much better today with no lasting effects. There are some smart, healthy people who didn't shop on Black Friday... but I bet they didn't get a deal on a new TomTom.
Enough with the weekend... I was a paraprofessional today. There were no teachers sick... there must have been no teachers shopping this weekend... ha ha ha
My Hubby is 28 now! Woo Hoo! I promised him he will be a daddy, or at least a daddy-to-be by the time he is 30. Did you hear that Uterus?! I am giving you 2 years... or else!
God bless you with a great day with the Lord!
Kat
Friday, November 20, 2009
Moderato
So the fire in the apartment seems like God's way of telling us there are bigger and better things to come. I have been looking into getting a new place to live... hopefully not in an apartment complex, but there are really nice ones out there. There is pretty much nothing in Moorhead except a complex just blocks from where we are now... but we need to get out of that neighborhood! Everything nice is in Fargo. I don't want to move to Fargo because I would have to change my tax information in all 5 districts I teach in. I know that would be a pain! Oh well, maybe we can hold out for another couple of months or until the college students move out so we can really have something to choose from. We for sure need to move before a baby comes along.
As far as a baby is concerned, it didn't happen thus far. This cycle we are trying something new. I am going to take Soy Isoflavones. These are natures Clomid. Clomid is a perscription to help women ovulate... or release an egg. Because I haven't been releasing any eggs, maybe this time I will. We will have to wait and see.
Speaking of waiting, Matt's birthday in on Thanksgiving this year... along with my Aunt's ha ha. It is also our 2 1/2 anniversary! 6 days. I wish I had something to announce at the dinner table this year, like I wanted to announce last year (about a baby) but oh well, maybe for Christmas. Now we have to wait.
Teaching... well, today I am a music teacher! I am teaching French Horn, General Music, and Vocal Technique. General Music I can do, but as far as French Horn and Vocal Technique... not so much, I am kinda letting the students teach the class. I have some lesson plans, but there again, the students are kinda the ones teaching. Hopefully the rest of the day goes alright.
*Authentic*
Bless all of you with a GREAT day with the Lord!
Kat
As far as a baby is concerned, it didn't happen thus far. This cycle we are trying something new. I am going to take Soy Isoflavones. These are natures Clomid. Clomid is a perscription to help women ovulate... or release an egg. Because I haven't been releasing any eggs, maybe this time I will. We will have to wait and see.
Speaking of waiting, Matt's birthday in on Thanksgiving this year... along with my Aunt's ha ha. It is also our 2 1/2 anniversary! 6 days. I wish I had something to announce at the dinner table this year, like I wanted to announce last year (about a baby) but oh well, maybe for Christmas. Now we have to wait.
Teaching... well, today I am a music teacher! I am teaching French Horn, General Music, and Vocal Technique. General Music I can do, but as far as French Horn and Vocal Technique... not so much, I am kinda letting the students teach the class. I have some lesson plans, but there again, the students are kinda the ones teaching. Hopefully the rest of the day goes alright.
*Authentic*
Bless all of you with a GREAT day with the Lord!
Kat
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